Thursday, July 19, 2007
Wednesday, March 28, 2007
The Journey has Just Started (revised).
So...
...Uhmm...
I have been back in Leicester for one week now, and still I don't quite know what to do with myself! One thing is for sure though, I need to gain employment to survive! Or just pay for Beer either way the Travel, or as most tell me the "Holiday" is now over!
First feelings our that I just want to go away again, but achieving this with the change in my back pocket that I managed to steal of my mother by nabbing the rest of the change from the trip to the Co-op isn't going to get me much further than Leicester City Centre. I hear that that bus ride is even quite pricey so I may have to wait a few weeks and make a few journeys to the Co-op before I get there!
Less of the moan lets go back a couple of weeks and do the final update on the travels through Brazil and Rio!
It seems again that I have been quite lazy on updating my blog I didn't even mention my days on the Island! As I have spent a few days on a lovely Island called Isl Grande (interpretation- Big Island, "wow would never have guessed"). Yeah it was quite big! J and I soon realised that after the 2 1/2 hour journey to the other side of the Island to reach the lovely Lopez Mendez beach. Yes it was amazing when we did arrive but lets just say the boat back was the best part just for the thought that we wouldn't have to go up and down for a further 2 1/2 hours to get back! The following days on the Island were spent on beaches alot closer! If you always have this image of sunny days and lovely places that we stay in then I wish you could have sampled the accommodation that we stayed in on the Island! Yes you would be correct with the first part of the last sentence as many of our days were most definitely sunny! But living in a Dog pound surrounded by shit, one of which greeted us on arrival to the shower was just Fantastic! I even took a geeky picture of the electric wires running into the shower head for my brother Max! But you guys can all see that it doesn't look safe, and yes on numerous occasions when changing the temperature I was electrocuted!
Anyway away from the present and back to the past! Check out these pictures of the Island! Met this guy below on the beach He thought himself a little fruity, I told him that he had arms like twigs and a leaf for a spine!
So after a whole load of chin surfing we departed the relaxed beach life and headed for the unofficial capital of Brazil... Rio de Janeiro!
The one mission here was to make it to Corcovado so that we could do the typical tourist thing and gaze over Rio while standing under a huge statue of a man some know as Hey Zus Aka Jesus or even Christ, personally I think Harry would have been a better name! But I would because I am a Pratt! Yeah check out the pictures! Yeah that's me with my sexy body out, as you can see on my right I was also helping a blind gypsy man around with me!
When I looked at this stone faced guy I thought that he had a funny resemblance to myself! I don't know what it could have been??? Lets just say that he would have been good at my type of surfing! Did you also know that he has been there for years waiting for someone to give him a hug, his arms must be killing!
After doing possibly that last touristy thing of my trip what else do you do than go out! We did come to Rio to try and lay low on Copacabana beach, but the beach was the most disgusting one of all that I have ever seen. The fact that the locals would wash there babies nappies within a meter or two of another person let alone in the sea itself just showed what respect was given to this beach! To be fair if you did head down the road to the following beach then standards did improve, but the layer of scum that sat just beyond the breaking waves was a reminder that you were only just round the corner from the local rubbish dump that was Copacabana Beach.
So what do you do? Well heading out in the party capital of Brazil is a good start! Which we did only to enter possibly the worst club in the history of RnB and Hip Hop clubs. I did have a good dance off with a local who proceeded to show us his thug life tattoo that stretched across his lower six pack! Oh well down a few more Skols and everything was better even my dancing! By the way I clearly won the dance off, possibly winning the award for most sweaty tourist in there! Better than most ridiculous looking RnB person, wish I had a picture! Forgot to mention that we only headed to the RnB club after deciding against the Gay club. Yes Gay Club Boys!!! I didn't think it would be so bad but when getting out of the taxi with this Israeli guy and being looked up and down by possibly the most horrible seedy man we quickly decided against it! Its a shame might have pulled for the first time in 10 months!
Has Anyone seen this Dwarf???
Please if you do make contact with him then remember that he suffers from a rare disease known as Small Man Syndrome! In fact no one has seen him since birth as his size makes him increasingly difficult to see. To give you some indication of his actual size this picture has been taken while he stands within the kitchen of his Dolls house!
After that it was just a slow time packing bags heading back to Sao Paulo then heading to the airport at peak rush hour on the Metro! Let me picture it for you, remember that old world record where you get as many people into a Mini Cooper, well imagine that then me and Wolly with bags on our backs getting pushed in! I had to laugh because really I couldn't do much else! J and I were split up and I was just thankful that nobody decided to go dipping in my pockets! Yeah, got to the Airport and we weren't even on the plane! Good job someone or some people decided not to show because we did squeeze on our intended flight! In a strange way even though I had no funds to continue the journey I hoped that we would have to stay in Brazil for another month or so! I was just starting to get settled in the place and then I have to go home, bloody bugger! Its not all nooses and slit wrists though! Of course its great to see that your father has become more unfunny, one of your brothers is balder the other just plain mad, your mother just the same and your Grandad AWOL in another place! Didn't make that sound much better did I. Well lets just throw in some pictures and thank all those that made my journey possible!
Thanks to:-
J for all his fancy dress outfits
Sue as my sponsor
Stu because hes not aware of how well sue sponsored me
The rest of the family memebers who will have donated money for crimbo and stuff.
All those that I met on my travels for listening to the boring chin man!
All those back home for reading the blog and e-mailing me from time to time, Munro especially, my inside man on the home ongoings!
Tuesday, March 20, 2007
The End is Here!
If you are reading this then I thank you!
You must be either bored or a die hard fan!
I feel that this is the penultimate post!
I would like to remind you of where it all began!
One huge poster that if you have had the pleasure of entering my room will know all about! This poster originally purchased at university proved to be the catalyst for my worldly adventure. Although when I reached the Cristo Redentor and gazed over the beautiful Rio, I couldn't help but think, ´the end is here´.
For those that don't know that poster is a view of the Christ statue with Rio as the backdrop! I will show you the view on my next input! Which i will be doing at home!
Chow for now!
Saturday, February 24, 2007
Sorry in Advance (All about Shit) + South America!
Just in case you need to see what state I was in!
Actually if I had been writing this blog to you last week then all that you may have heard me talk about was crap! I had done really well until now, but yep I spent two weeks rushing to the toilet, with what Dolo ( our Argi friend would say was Explosion!!!)I didnt mind it to much but traveling for 16 hours on a bus! Tripping out with a fever talking to little men on tupper wear boxes (dont ask) and flying down to the toilet (thank God it was there) on the hour every hour for about 5 hours was a whole new experience for me! One of the men on the tupper ware boxes had the Boca Juniours football colours on, he was the good guy of the two, Its alright though a few sweaty swipes into thin air got rid of them (again dont ask).
By the time that I did reach Cordoba I just wanted to curl up and die! So thats what I did stayed in the hostel from 10 in the morning till the same time the following day! Thing is this shit (Ha Ha) happens to everyone, I dont think that I am special (even though I clearly am, and not in that IQ of 10 special way) but this was my second fever in a week and I didnt stop pissing out of my ass for 14 days! I will throw in some pictures maybe you will see the weight loss?
Now let me take you back to the start, to where the whole South America Journey began (to Dave Ace here comes the boring section)
We flew into Santiago only to stay for a few days! We were supposed to get are heads back to your (U.K) kind of time as we are only 3 hours behind now instaed of 13 in New Zealand! It proved difficult to get to grips with and going out like these South Americans dosent help! So Santiago!
Its beautiful but I saw more of it by night than day! Jay the Dog Dr was happy enough as you can see! I did line up the following 10 pictures of him with dogs and the 15 pictures of him with buterflies but I just dont have the time! Those that came out to Thailand may be well aware of his continuing themes! You may have left him as the Geko hunter but since then he has changed into many forms! Dogs is his latest although the buttterflies at the falls may be in competition! After a few days sleeping by day we headed off to Argentina to Buenous Aires! Shitting Excellent!!!
BA was wicked! For a couple of the days there we did this walking tour with the Hostel. On those two days we got to see the old and rich sides of town! I actually learnt some stuff about the country the capital and the people! Wont bore you to death! the best part off the tour included lunch in a local resturant! Shitting Excellent although that lovely part of my journey hadnt started just yet and it was still a few days before I left my debit card in a ATM? No more fun for me! Sue & Stu would add that I have had quite enough!
Good Job we hooked up with Nick the Greek (right, unsure about the guy next to him? Is it Wally in disguise?). Nick spoke fluent spanish and was a Dr. He basically became our translatour and later my consultant to my ongoing affair with the Banos!Luckly by the time Sunday came I was feeling a little better, just in time for the Boca game (later i would learn that I was not better and that I was destined for a bus ride from tupper ware hell). The atmosphere and experience was great but the game itself was no Premership standard! !
What should I say about the bus journey to Cordoba...??? ....well it was pretty shit!!!
What didnt help is that when I was feeling better and I did make it out of bed Dolo decided to take us out for Matte (tea Argi style) in the park! This just increased Explosion! Dolo thought that she would explain this afterwards! Not good in the middle of a park in a place that you dont know! Funny looking back though, and no its not POT sue its Matte! Dolo decided to set up a barbecue at her house which to be honest was the best one I have had so far, lets not forget that I have been to Oz and they think they know how to BBQ, laughable!
We vivsited Dolos (above) parents place! At the bottom of the hill they had a fresh water river! 
After Cordoba we headed to the Iguacu falls! They are the biggest set of falls in the world! Yes they were fu#*ing amazing!
A few word for a little fat man I loved very much!
Thursday, February 08, 2007
New Zealand (North Island)
We flew into Auckland with 10 days to travel around New Zealand, to try and enjoy as much as we could in the small amount of time that we had we decided to stick to the North Island and do a little tour. We jumped on one of the many small buses that dash you and others around the Island taking you to interesting places off the beaten track.
We headed to numerous places around the north Island enjoying all sorts of places and activities! The past Ten days have been some of the best for both viewing the North Island beauty, culture and taking part in many of the activities that this Island holds. Even though there is much debate as to the South Island being better than the North. I have become quite accustomed to this traveller talk and those that mainly discourage are those that have no friends! (Just my little rant) I know because I am quite a negative man myself sometimes. But in general three different people can give three different accounts of any one place. So I would just like to say that I didn't have time to go to the South Island (so I will go another time & not spend so much time getting drunk in Melbourne) and the North Island is Fantastic if anyones planning on going, just don't spend so much or to much time in Auckland its best to get out of the cities!
From Hahei we headed over to Raglan, Whale beach (below) has some of the longest breaks, so therefore is a mecca for Surfers. I am to Cool to surf so just showed the locals my new chin surfing! They couldn't do it, some people just don't have it!
After a piss up in Raglan we moved across to Rotorua while stopping at Waitomo Caves. Here J went on a mission through the cave. He spent about two hours in pitch black conditions missioning through the cave checking out the cold water and glow worms and stuff! I decided on the cheaper option of a walk! Although not much cheaper because the following day while he chilled out I decided to go down a grade 4 white water river with nothing but me and a sledge!
This day was the best day and I definitely didn't need to get pissed the night before! I headed down to the river in the morning which was in the middle of a protected park with no other living souls for miles around! The sun was out and the water was fresh! Again it something that you have to try! But for those that don't want to drown i will try and explain what it was like. Before every major rapid that we were about to encounter we needed a full briefing to advise which route we needed to take because once you were in this kilometer long section you just had to ride it out! I was filled with even more confidence when the tour guide decided to say Maori prayers to protect us as we headed into the Abyss (maybe slightly over the top). But Harry the hero was fine I loved it, but a couple of the other guys were shitting there wet suits. One of the blokes even finished and said "I wont be doing that again" Pussy! To be fair to the guy (Mike) when we entered the grade four section we had been advised to stay central then as we approached the dog leg get to the left! As the guides would say Turbo left (Turbo was the term for kicking your legs like your whole life depended on it). The reason for staying left is that you would catch the slipstream into the two fat car sized waves. Off to the right was a waterfall that could potentially cause some pain! Poor mike never quite grasped the turbo, he spent most of his time being dragged down by the guide or just left to the natural flow of the river! He went head first over the waterfall, we never saw him again!
Only joking!
After that fantastic morning I felt like committing suicide...
..so i did, I threw myself out of a plane at 1200ft!
Unfortunately i didn't meet the bitter end or even break a nail, I plummeted to earth over lake Taupo at some stupid rate! I was in a world that I hadn't seen since scoring a header from a Duncan Keane corner in a Houghton B Team Primary school Football tournament, the goal ensuring us a showdown with the A team! We lost to the A team who to be fair were made up off the year above! But yeah, Shit yeah, Hell Yeah. 45 seconds of pure free fall. It didn't even matter that the clouds were out because you just smashed into them like a wet blanket, that cleared very suddenly only to highlight what I was actually falling towards! Do it, all of you Do it! Do it! Do it.
After that we chilled out in Taupo for a few nights chilling by the lake and contemplating what the hell we had been up to! As out tour guide said, "this is one of the most beautiful countries in the world and it is one big playground". He was probably pissed at the time and getting a little deep!
Above left me and the Viking above right some Geo thermal hot mud pools.
Quote of the day
"The journey is my home." — Muriel Rukeyser.
Peace Out!!!!
Tuesday, January 30, 2007
Bye Bye Oz
Welcome to another episode of Harry Almonds strange expeditions around the world!!! I shall start from where I left off.
In Noosa Tom and I revived some of the old skool days by hitting the campsite T T table! You Know it! What did we do here, Oh yeah went to the beach chilled out, Oh and went to the pub for a few more waters! Good little place, Quite beautiful!! Arrrgh back in the Van.
At the Lagoon I nearly drowned one of our team mates Em by dunking her into the depths of the murky green water! To be fair I hoped that she
Just having to check the map on google because I cant remember where I went next, I know that I am now in New Zealand, Rainbow beach... ...New Zealand. Aghh yeah thank god for the interweb or actually Bill bloody Gates. Rockhampton
No wonder I forgot it was just a one night stop off to let the crew relax and refuel before heading off again! One thing though we did happen to bump into a girl that we knew from Leicester in this random Campsite for those who know her (Hannah Parker) and for those who dont like my co padre J "No Worries".
From Rock "Beef Capital" hampton we headed to passed the Tropical line of Capricorn and into uncharterd waters. No we didnt we just went to Airlie Beach. Shit this place was wet and bastard hot. Rain Rain. This place is the Gateway to some of the most spectacular Island of the Coast of Queensland. they are Known by the name of the Whitsundays! So amazing are theses Islands that Tom J and I never went! The girls did they enjoyed it very much! We just chilled out in the Lagoon recharged the batteries and got wet!
After this we banged on past Townsville and up to Innisfail. Now lets take the Last four letters of this towns name and you may have some idea of its tourism value! To be fair we were visiting some friends who were doing a spot of the old fruit picking! we got Pissed all of us in a three bedroom motel, told off by reception in the morning, or rather Em took the flack, and off to Cairns. Lovely little town would have been good to spend a couple more days there but you know what its like planes to catch places to see people to meet and strange beer to drink. So far not impressed with the Kiwi Piss. Aucklands good, thinking of investigating other areas so I will update you soon. Hope you enjoyed this very long edition of Chin Around the World.
I can't think of anything that excites a greater sense of childlike wonder than to be in a country where you are ignorant of almost everything.
Bill Bryson
This ones for David William Hayse
But why, oh why, do the wrong people travel, when the right people stay at home?
Noel Coward (I would like to highlight this persons surname)
Friday, January 12, 2007
The New Year
Wheres Wally Waldo Wolly (however its spelt as it is different all over the world) ...
...here he bloody is.

I thought that I would add this one above as it has been a while.
Sydney was fun the fireworks for new years the Christmas eve reunion with Paul and Jack in the Gaff (If you want to see pictures of that just go via the link on my page marked "Check out their pics". They don't have pictures on their blog but if you click their link "Our photos" it will take you to their pictures check under Sydney).
Hope you understand that, my camera has started to fail me and was out of action during Christmas Eve.
Spent the majority of our time in Sydney in Bondi, this was a good place to be as I could easily get around the city plus spend days on the beach when needed. Christmas day was like no other. Woke with a hangover that's the only similar thing to previous years cured it with a fry up, that was Christmas Dinner! Then waited for the clouds to clear so that I could sit on the Beach!!! I suppose the best part was spending it with friends, oh and the beach!!!
New years Fireworks bang! bang!
Now I am travelling up the East coast in a tin can with Captain "Geoff" Chaos (Jay) the "Monkey" (Tom) Co-pilot (Me) and two stow aways (Em & Anne a couple of teenage English girls). So far the automatic Mitsubishi has held its own quite well, Fancy a look!
On the way out of Sydney we stopped at Palm Beach aka Summer Bay where we walked along the beach remembering days of Bobby Fisher and Sam! I actually had a Ice Cream from the Surf Club!!! Wow "Harry Cringemas" just one of those new names that came up during Christmas via Tom Thumb. I didn't see any of the stars but what I didn't know is that I would see one later on in my travels! After that we headed up the East Coast until it got a little too dark and everyone was tired. We pulled up in some random town pitched our tent behind a bush on the local park and got some kip!!!
Anyhow bolted out of pot central for the bright lights of Las Vegas Australia aka Surfers Paradise on the Gold coast, This place was far to commercial but the waves were even better here!!! We spent that night out for Toms Birthday at the Hard Rock Cafe then carried on into the night with a few waters! Tooheys water!
Oh shit cant be arsed to go back and edit the Byron section but on the walk round Cape Byron towards the most easterly point in Oz we (Anne & Kate left) saw that really tanned girl from Home & Away. Anne teenage blonde (actually brunette) Shouts "that's Jessie from Home & Away" (I think Jessie is her name) I held my face in my hands as the over cooked Home & Away cast member turned to look at us with her hands over ears form the shrieking of super fan Anne.
Back to the real world. We left Surfers and I am now located in Brisbane , doesn't seem to be that much to do but I am sure if i was here a little longer I would soon fit in! Off to Noosa + Oz Zoo soon that should be more up my street!
Shit Yeah!
R.I.P G.B