Sorry in Advance (All about Shit) + South America!

Just in case you need to see what state I was in!

Gary is back and I have a whole new load of Crap to feed you! (obelix in central Buenous Aires)

Actually if I had been writing this blog to you last week then all that you may have heard me talk about was crap! I had done really well until now, but yep I spent two weeks rushing to the toilet, with what Dolo ( our Argi friend would say was Explosion!!!)

I didnt mind it to much but traveling for 16 hours on a bus! Tripping out with a fever talking to little men on tupper wear boxes (dont ask) and flying down to the toilet (thank God it was there) on the hour every hour for about 5 hours was a whole new experience for me! One of the men on the tupper ware boxes had the Boca Juniours football colours on, he was the good guy of the two, Its alright though a few sweaty swipes into thin air got rid of them (again dont ask).

By the time that I did reach Cordoba I just wanted to curl up and die! So thats what I did stayed in the hostel from 10 in the morning till the same time the following day! Thing is this shit (Ha Ha) happens to everyone, I dont think that I am special (even though I clearly am, and not in that IQ of 10 special way) but this was my second fever in a week and I didnt stop pissing out of my ass for 14 days! I will throw in some pictures maybe you will see the weight loss?

Now let me take you back to the start, to where the whole South America Journey began (to Dave Ace here comes the boring section)

We flew into Santiago only to stay for a few days! We were supposed to get are heads back to your (U.K) kind of time as we are only 3 hours behind now instaed of 13 in New Zealand! It proved difficult to get to grips with and going out like these South Americans dosent help! So Santiago!

Its beautiful but I saw more of it by night than day! Jay the Dog Dr was happy enough as you can see! I did line up the following 10 pictures of him with dogs and the 15 pictures of him with buterflies but I just dont have the time! Those that came out to Thailand may be well aware of his continuing themes! You may have left him as the Geko hunter but since then he has changed into many forms! Dogs is his latest although the buttterflies at the falls may be in competition!

Only one man knows!

After a few days sleeping by day we headed off to Argentina to Buenous Aires! Shitting Excellent!!!

BA was wicked! For a couple of the days there we did this walking tour with the Hostel. On those two days we got to see the old and rich sides of town! I actually learnt some stuff about the country the capital and the people! Wont bore you to death! the best part off the tour included lunch in a local resturant! Shitting Excellent although that lovely part of my journey hadnt started just yet and it was still a few days before I left my debit card in a ATM? No more fun for me! Sue & Stu would add that I have had quite enough!

Good Job we hooked up with Nick the Greek (right, unsure about the guy next to him? Is it Wally in disguise?). Nick spoke fluent spanish and was a Dr. He basically became our translatour and later my consultant to my ongoing affair with the Banos!

Luckly by the time Sunday came I was feeling a little better, just in time for the Boca game (later i would learn that I was not better and that I was destined for a bus ride from tupper ware hell). The atmosphere and experience was great but the game itself was no Premership standard! !

What should I say about the bus journey to Cordoba...???

....well it was pretty shit!!!

What didnt help is that when I was feeling better and I did make it out of bed Dolo decided to take us out for Matte (tea Argi style) in the park! This just increased Explosion! Dolo thought that she would explain this afterwards! Not good in the middle of a park in a place that you dont know! Funny looking back though, and no its not POT sue its Matte! Dolo decided to set up a barbecue at her house which to be honest was the best one I have had so far, lets not forget that I have been to Oz and they think they know how to BBQ, laughable!

We vivsited Dolos (above) parents place! At the bottom of the hill they had a fresh water river!

After Cordoba we headed to the Iguacu falls! They are the biggest set of falls in the world! Yes they were fu#*ing amazing!

In Sao Paulo at the moment off to Ilha Grande tomorrow to hide out on a beach!

Chow!

A few word for a little fat man I loved very much!

He was for a long time my only Grandad and I am thankful for the time that I spent with him! I loved living with him as I began to know the man as a man. I very much wanted to return to tell him about episodes such as my brief illness and show him all my traveling pictures even though they probably would have board him to death! He knew me well though and I know that he will have enjoyed hearing about my journey through others! He would of very much liked some of the Argentinian steak that I ate! But oh well he had a good innings and he proved that you can have your cake and eat it (and live for 96 years)!

I will miss him very much as must all who knew him!

Rest in peace G! I will have to eat the winegums myself :0)

New Zealand (North Island)

O.K. Who's the Wally now???

We flew into Auckland with 10 days to travel around New Zealand, to try and enjoy as much as we could in the small amount of time that we had we decided to stick to the North Island and do a little tour. We jumped on one of the many small buses that dash you and others around the Island taking you to interesting places off the beaten track.

We headed to numerous places around the north Island enjoying all sorts of places and activities! The past Ten days have been some of the best for both viewing the North Island beauty, culture and taking part in many of the activities that this Island holds. Even though there is much debate as to the South Island being better than the North. I have become quite accustomed to this traveller talk and those that mainly discourage are those that have no friends! (Just my little rant) I know because I am quite a negative man myself sometimes. But in general three different people can give three different accounts of any one place. So I would just like to say that I didn't have time to go to the South Island (so I will go another time & not spend so much time getting drunk in Melbourne) and the North Island is Fantastic if anyones planning on going, just don't spend so much or to much time in Auckland its best to get out of the cities!

On the first day we headed from Auckland north to Hahei, here we visited the beach where numerous people dig holes in the beach to take hot water baths. Hot Water beach (right) has fresh water percolating through the sand into the ocean . Below the surface as water passes through the sand its heated by the Geo thermal activity below. You know, because this place is one big Geo thermal Volcano thingy! Yeah it was wicked and the water was Hot! That Hot in places that you defiantly couldn't bath in it! Me being me I much prefer jumping into the cold sea for a spot of "Chin Surfing".

From Hahei we headed over to Raglan, Whale beach (below) has some of the longest breaks, so therefore is a mecca for Surfers. I am to Cool to surf so just showed the locals my new chin surfing! They couldn't do it, some people just don't have it!

Doing these little journeys is fun, but also the people on the bus make half the journey as well! We had a tour Guide called Nathan. Lets just say he liked to get pissed! The "I know everything" travelers with there walking boats and socks on. Even though they are heading to the beach (yes they do exist) the ones that look like they are retired at the age of 24! They didn't take to our late never on time geeza of a tour guide, but me and JJ were fine and on numerous occasions ensured that he definitely wouldn't make the bus for 8 the next morning!

After a piss up in Raglan we moved across to Rotorua while stopping at Waitomo Caves. Here J went on a mission through the cave. He spent about two hours in pitch black conditions missioning through the cave checking out the cold water and glow worms and stuff! I decided on the cheaper option of a walk! Although not much cheaper because the following day while he chilled out I decided to go down a grade 4 white water river with nothing but me and a sledge!

This day was the best day and I definitely didn't need to get pissed the night before! I headed down to the river in the morning which was in the middle of a protected park with no other living souls for miles around! The sun was out and the water was fresh! Again it something that you have to try! But for those that don't want to drown i will try and explain what it was like. Before every major rapid that we were about to encounter we needed a full briefing to advise which route we needed to take because once you were in this kilometer long section you just had to ride it out! I was filled with even more confidence when the tour guide decided to say Maori prayers to protect us as we headed into the Abyss (maybe slightly over the top). But Harry the hero was fine I loved it, but a couple of the other guys were shitting there wet suits. One of the blokes even finished and said "I wont be doing that again" Pussy! To be fair to the guy (Mike) when we entered the grade four section we had been advised to stay central then as we approached the dog leg get to the left! As the guides would say Turbo left (Turbo was the term for kicking your legs like your whole life depended on it). The reason for staying left is that you would catch the slipstream into the two fat car sized waves. Off to the right was a waterfall that could potentially cause some pain! Poor mike never quite grasped the turbo, he spent most of his time being dragged down by the guide or just left to the natural flow of the river! He went head first over the waterfall, we never saw him again!

Only joking!


After that fantastic morning I felt like committing suicide...

..so i did, I threw myself out of a plane at 1200ft!

Unfortunately i didn't meet the bitter end or even break a nail, I plummeted to earth over lake Taupo at some stupid rate! I was in a world that I hadn't seen since scoring a header from a Duncan Keane corner in a Houghton B Team Primary school Football tournament, the goal ensuring us a showdown with the A team! We lost to the A team who to be fair were made up off the year above! But yeah, Shit yeah, Hell Yeah. 45 seconds of pure free fall. It didn't even matter that the clouds were out because you just smashed into them like a wet blanket, that cleared very suddenly only to highlight what I was actually falling towards! Do it, all of you Do it! Do it! Do it.



After that we chilled out in Taupo for a few nights chilling by the lake and contemplating what the hell we had been up to! As out tour guide said, "this is one of the most beautiful countries in the world and it is one big playground". He was probably pissed at the time and getting a little deep!




















Above left me and the Viking above right some Geo thermal hot mud pools.

Quote of the day

"The journey is my home." — Muriel Rukeyser.

Peace Out!!!!