The Journey has Just Started (revised).

So...



...Uhmm...

...What to Say???

I have been back in Leicester for one week now, and still I don't quite know what to do with myself! One thing is for sure though, I need to gain employment to survive! Or just pay for Beer either way the Travel, or as most tell me the "Holiday" is now over!

First feelings our that I just want to go away again, but achieving this with the change in my back pocket that I managed to steal of my mother by nabbing the rest of the change from the trip to the Co-op isn't going to get me much further than Leicester City Centre. I hear that that bus ride is even quite pricey so I may have to wait a few weeks and make a few journeys to the Co-op before I get there!

Less of the moan lets go back a couple of weeks and do the final update on the travels through Brazil and Rio!

It seems again that I have been quite lazy on updating my blog I didn't even mention my days on the Island! As I have spent a few days on a lovely Island called Isl Grande (interpretation- Big Island, "wow would never have guessed"). Yeah it was quite big! J and I soon realised that after the 2 1/2 hour journey to the other side of the Island to reach the lovely Lopez Mendez beach. Yes it was amazing when we did arrive but lets just say the boat back was the best part just for the thought that we wouldn't have to go up and down for a further 2 1/2 hours to get back! The following days on the Island were spent on beaches alot closer! If you always have this image of sunny days and lovely places that we stay in then I wish you could have sampled the accommodation that we stayed in on the Island! Yes you would be correct with the first part of the last sentence as many of our days were most definitely sunny! But living in a Dog pound surrounded by shit, one of which greeted us on arrival to the shower was just Fantastic! I even took a geeky picture of the electric wires running into the shower head for my brother Max! But you guys can all see that it doesn't look safe, and yes on numerous occasions when changing the temperature I was electrocuted!

One good thing about the accommodation was that when we slept in and missed our boat of the Island we weren't able to stay at the dog pound any longer because some poor bugger had called up and booked the room! Lets just say that the last night on the Island was spent in a lot better conditions and the fact that whilst we ate breakfast we weren't smelling or making sure we weren't sitting in doggy... was about to say/write something funny but Dave Hayes just rang, bloody Pratt also now known as the Skinniest Fat Guy that I know.

Anyway away from the present and back to the past! Check out these pictures of the Island! Met this guy below on the beach He thought himself a little fruity, I told him that he had arms like twigs and a leaf for a spine!

He didn't find it very funny! But he had the last laugh. Check out his Girlfriend! Photo complements of Messy Creations!

O.K less of the mad jiberish but as you can see another deserted beach with beautiful women to gaze at! We attempted to save money on the Island so spent most evenings just strolling around the main port of the Islands ! One of the best things was that after your meal you could walk along the waterfront (good for the lovers) and eat some of the tastiest cakes on offer! Push bikes had been converted into big cake trolleys! Check out Jay!! Doesn't he have a look like he wants to kill you, perhaps that's 10 month of listening to me chatter on, or is it the look of love? I will let you decide (Some call it the Death Stare)!!!

So after a whole load of chin surfing we departed the relaxed beach life and headed for the unofficial capital of Brazil... Rio de Janeiro!

The one mission here was to make it to Corcovado so that we could do the typical tourist thing and gaze over Rio while standing under a huge statue of a man some know as Hey Zus Aka Jesus or even Christ, personally I think Harry would have been a better name! But I would because I am a Pratt! Yeah check out the pictures! Yeah that's me with my sexy body out, as you can see on my right I was also helping a blind gypsy man around with me!

When I looked at this stone faced guy I thought that he had a funny resemblance to myself! I don't know what it could have been??? Lets just say that he would have been good at my type of surfing! Did you also know that he has been there for years waiting for someone to give him a hug, his arms must be killing!

After doing possibly that last touristy thing of my trip what else do you do than go out! We did come to Rio to try and lay low on Copacabana beach, but the beach was the most disgusting one of all that I have ever seen. The fact that the locals would wash there babies nappies within a meter or two of another person let alone in the sea itself just showed what respect was given to this beach! To be fair if you did head down the road to the following beach then standards did improve, but the layer of scum that sat just beyond the breaking waves was a reminder that you were only just round the corner from the local rubbish dump that was Copacabana Beach.

So what do you do? Well heading out in the party capital of Brazil is a good start! Which we did only to enter possibly the worst club in the history of RnB and Hip Hop clubs. I did have a good dance off with a local who proceeded to show us his thug life tattoo that stretched across his lower six pack! Oh well down a few more Skols and everything was better even my dancing! By the way I clearly won the dance off, possibly winning the award for most sweaty tourist in there! Better than most ridiculous looking RnB person, wish I had a picture! Forgot to mention that we only headed to the RnB club after deciding against the Gay club. Yes Gay Club Boys!!! I didn't think it would be so bad but when getting out of the taxi with this Israeli guy and being looked up and down by possibly the most horrible seedy man we quickly decided against it! Its a shame might have pulled for the first time in 10 months!

Has Anyone seen this Dwarf???

Please if you do make contact with him then remember that he suffers from a rare disease known as Small Man Syndrome! In fact no one has seen him since birth as his size makes him increasingly difficult to see. To give you some indication of his actual size this picture has been taken while he stands within the kitchen of his Dolls house!

After that it was just a slow time packing bags heading back to Sao Paulo then heading to the airport at peak rush hour on the Metro! Let me picture it for you, remember that old world record where you get as many people into a Mini Cooper, well imagine that then me and Wolly with bags on our backs getting pushed in! I had to laugh because really I couldn't do much else! J and I were split up and I was just thankful that nobody decided to go dipping in my pockets! Yeah, got to the Airport and we weren't even on the plane! Good job someone or some people decided not to show because we did squeeze on our intended flight! In a strange way even though I had no funds to continue the journey I hoped that we would have to stay in Brazil for another month or so! I was just starting to get settled in the place and then I have to go home, bloody bugger! Its not all nooses and slit wrists though! Of course its great to see that your father has become more unfunny, one of your brothers is balder the other just plain mad, your mother just the same and your Grandad AWOL in another place! Didn't make that sound much better did I. Well lets just throw in some pictures and thank all those that made my journey possible!

Thanks to:-

J for all his fancy dress outfits

Sue as my sponsor

Stu because hes not aware of how well sue sponsored me

The rest of the family memebers who will have donated money for crimbo and stuff.

All those that I met on my travels for listening to the boring chin man!

All those back home for reading the blog and e-mailing me from time to time, Munro especially, my inside man on the home ongoings!

Remember Keep your Chin Up!!!!